South Park Millenium
by Trog2007
Summary: After a few unexpected incidents at South Park Elementary, the boys' and company set out to "ungoverned" territory to escape punishment. Someone dies. No slash, no Name x name, none of that. Enjoy and comment.


SOUTH PARK MILLENIUM  
November 3rd 2006, re-copied, fixed. And continued: November 15th 2008-

The fires kept burning. All the people kept running and running only to be slaughtered by the great dark goo that slowly sheeted the snowy ground. Stan hung atop a street lamp where he attempted to avoid the sludge. He was alone everyone else had already been killed; the sludge suddenly started slowly creeping up the pole. As it did so it started to collect and morph into a shape of someone with a knife. It was someone he knew. It was Kyle. Stan tried to climb to the top of the pole so he could get up on the roof of the pet store and escape the sludge but he was stuck. He screamed for help only for his screams to be no louder than a whisper. He struggled to untangle himself as the sludge Kyle inched closer. It was too late; Kyle had grabbed Stan by the collar and slammed him to the street. Kyle jumped off the pole and positioned his knife above Stan's forehead.... he then lunged at him....

Stan opened his eyes and looked around. He gazed at the blinding red lights from his alarm clock. It was 3:00am. He was sweating all over and was extremely cold. He sat up on his bed and looked out the window into the night sky that loomed over the small town of South Park. His heart was beating intensely to the point he could hear each and every beat as if a bass drum was being played right next to him. "What the hell was that?" he asked himself as he rubbed his eyes and headed to the bathroom. Stan began splashing cold water on his face trying to fully wake up. "Stan?" His father opened the bathroom door, :It's 3am, go back to bed." "I can't" "Why not?" "I had a bad dream." "Well that's no excuse get your ass back in bed!" He walked off. Stan gazed at himself in the mirror, his face was red, his eyes were bloodshot and suddenly he had trouble breathing. He stormed out of the bathroom and rushed to grab his inhaler but it was too late, he fell to his knees and put a hand over his chest, he breathed heavily and soon started wheezing and coughing he then passed out.

He woke up yet again laying on his bedroom floor, he turned his head upwards to view the clock, it was 6:00. He slowly got up and put his inhaler in his pocket, grabbed his schoolbag and walked to the bus stop where Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman waited for him. "Why are you late Stan?" asked Cartman, "We've been waiting forever!" "Yeah!" said Kyle. "Everything ok?" Stan suddenly got a weird feeling in his stomach, it hurt. Kyle walked closer, "Dude is everything alri.." "Get the hell away from me!" Screamed Stan. Kyle backed off. "Dude what the f*ck is up?" asked Kyle. "I had an asthma attack last night after I had a dream about Kyle trying to kill me." Said Stan to Cartman ignoring Kyle. "Awesome!" said Cartman in delight that Stan actually was dissing Kyle. "WHAT?!" asked Kyle, "Why the hell would you have a dream like that?" "You're too young Kyle, you wouldn't understand" said Cartman. "Shut up!" said Kyle now pissed. "Stan, what the hell is going on?" Just then the bus arrived.

Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny stood in line waiting for lunch. Stan had already gotten his lunch and had isolated himself in one of the corner tables; slowly moving his fork above his food, thinking. None of this made sense he sat there and dozed off burying his head in the food. He didn't get any sleep since the night before.

"Dude what the hell is wrong with Stan?" asked Kyle.

"Will you shut up about that already? GOD he's just being a little bitch, that's all!" replied Cartman hiding the fact that he too wondered what was wrong.

They walked to the lunch counter where Chef stood as usual.

"Hey Chef!" they said in unison.

"How's it going?" asked Chef.

"Bad" said Kyle.

"Why bad?"

"Stan's been acting funny and lashing out at me." Said Kyle. Cartman snickered. "Shut up fatass!"

Meanwhile, Stan stared at Wendy who sat two tables in front of him laughing with her friends. He sighed and got up and walked towards her table.

"Wendy?"

She looked up at Stan. "What now?"

"Can I talk to you real quick?"

"Fine." She got up and followed him out into the hallway.

"What is it Stan?" Wendy asked slightly irritated.

"Listen, I've been having these weird dreams lately. I haven't been able to sleep and the last time I had an asthma attack and passed out."

"So?"

"So, I was wondering if you could possibly help me."

"Stan, how the hell could I help you?"

Stan gave her a confused look. "Wow Wendy I'm surprised."

"At what?"

"That you of all people would just say that to someone who is asking for guidance."

"Stan, if you haven't forgotten, we have a history"

"Of what? Because we broke up you decide to just hate me and treat me like I'm some kind of retard? Well guess what bitch, I don't need you, Never have, never will." He then walked back in the cafeteria. Just then he paused and turned to look at her. "Wendy, I've been meaning to tell you this for some time. Before these nightmares.."

"What?"

Stan paused and stared at her straight in the eyes. "I love you."

Wendy looked confused for a minute. Then glanced around making sure nobody was looking. "I love you too."

They then put their arms around each other and started frenching. Just then, Kyle and Cartman walked into the hall and were shocked at what they saw.

"Dude, is today f*cked up or what?" said Cartman as they just watched them.

Stan then caught glimpse of them and stopped. "Aw f*ck! Cartman?!"

"What the hell did I do?" asked Cartman.

Wendy walked off. Stan rushed to Kyle and grabbed him by the collar and held him up against a locker to where Kyle's feet were nearly a foot off the floor. "You've been f*cking with my for too long Jew!"

"What the hell?" asked Kyle.

"Oh my god awesome!" cried Cartman.

"I've had enough of you and your stupid little games!" continued Stan. Kyle then kicked Stan in the face sending him into Cartman knocking him over.

"Oh you stupid piece of sh*t!" said Stan as he pulled Kyle close and kicked him in the "area" then used both of his hands to bash him on the head causing Kyle to fall. He then continued kicking him until the bell rang. He then grabbed Kyle and stuffed him in a locker that happened to have pictures of the holocaust in it. He and Cartman then headed to class.

Kyle was still in the locker, even after school was let out. He finally managed to bust open the door and go home.

"Hello boobikins! How was school?" asked his mom as soon as he entered his house,

"Terrible." He replied.

"Aw c'mon, school can't be that bad?"

"Stan kicked my ass and shoved me in a locker."

"What, what, what, WHAT, WHAT?"

"Umm…yea, I'm going to my room now."

"Oh no you don't! We're going to have a little talk with Stan about his behavior!"

~The Talk~

Sheila Bravlouski, Kyle, Stan, Randy, and Sharon sat in Stan's living room. "I've been meaning to discuss your son's recent attacks upon my boy" stated Sheila. "Apparently, Stan has been orally and physically hurting Kyle and I will NOT tolerate it!"

"Well Stan IS older than Kyle." Said Randy.

"So?" replied Sheila, that doesn't give him the right to hurt my boy!"

"Yes I know but he might be getting tired of him. I mean they've been friends for quite some time."

"That isn't it." Said Stan. Everyone but Kyle turned to look at him.

"What is it then you little brat?"

"Well fat bitch, it might be because Kyle is a homosexual!"

"Excuse me?!" gasped Randy as he stared at his son not believing what he just heard.

"You heard me" Stan said, "He's a f*cking queer!"

"Watch it young man!" said Sharon.

"Well at least I'm not the one making love to Wendy Testaburger in the hall!" shot Kyle

Stan froze for a moment shocked by the comeback. "What hall?"

"Don't lie Stan, me and Cartman both saw you!" Stan slowly got up and retreated to his room.

"Well at least he isn't gay" said Randy.

Sharon glared at him. "What?"

----------------

Stan sat at his computer desk head buried in arms. [Muffled] "sh*t..sjit..stupid f*cking Jew." Randy opened his bedroom door.

"Stan, We need to talk."

"No sh*t." Stan sat beside his dad on his bedside.

"So you had an affair with a women?"

"Yes."

"What did I say about that kind of sh*t?"

"Never make out until your thirteen otherwise you'd end up with a dirty skank riding your ass for the rest of your life and then you would kill her resulting in you going to jail for eveverver?"

"Exactly. Now your mother isn't too pleased with this whole thing. The only reason I'm up here is so you don't get into any more trouble then you're already in."

"Can I go to Cartman's?" asked Stan

"Sure."

-------------------

Cartman can be seen working a a computer and jotting down notes continuously throwing some on the floor in frustration. Stan comes down the stairs. Cartman hears him and turns to see him. "Oh hey Stan, what up?" he asked. "You and Wendy had quite a…. thing going today?"

"Shut up" said Stan not wanting to be reminded of that.

"That dumb Jew ratted on you huh?" he said as he returned his attention to his work.

"Yes, that homosexual son of a bitch ratted out on me" Stan replied and he grabbed a wheelie chair and rolled next to Cartman. "Dude, what the hell is all of this?"

Cartman dug through a massive pile of used graph paper and pulled out a map of a village-looking area with a scribble of Cartman's head on it. "This, I Cartmantopia."

"What?" asked Stan somewhat surprised. "What do you expect to do with it?"

"You know how our parents have been giving us serious bullsh*t over the years?" asked Cartman.

"Yes"-said Stan.

"I've been having dreams too Stan, dreams of a whole world bowing before me!"

"That's nice…"

"Anyway, I already found some land and people to help run the whole thing. Butters is the conductor, Clyde's the engineer, and Ike is second in command."

"Of what?"

"Come with me back nyah." Cartman led Stan to the backyard and under a large blue tarp where a massive wooden train-like object sat.

"What the hell?" asked Stan.

"It's our mode of transportation. Come in and take a look." Cartman opens a curtain in the back and enters the vehicle. "This carpet is from the upstairs bathroom, these chairs are from the basement, these crates are full of food to last us months. And THIS," He said pulling back another curtain, "Is the cowpit."

"The cowpit?" Stan asked in disbelief.

"This is here Butters will sit direction and keeping the cows moving."

"Ook… Hey, what's that giant dog kennel for?" Pointing to a large kennel with a tazer lying on it. "That's for someone special.." said Cartman as he smiled knowing whom that "special person was. They then headed to the front yard. "So, that's how it's gonna work, me and Clyde went to the sight last night and built some houses."

"Really?"

"Yes. We plan on leaving tomorrow night. Bring everything you can because I can assure you once we leave this hick town, there's no going back." Stan walked home.

Stan finnaly opened the door to his house. Sharon stood at the door as if she'd been waiting for hours. "Where have you been?" she asked.

"I was at Cartman's dad said I could go!" Stan replied.

"Oh really?" said Sharon obviously not pleased. "And you didn't ask me? You had me worried sick!"

"Why are you so pissed off at me? I was only gone for like 2 hours god!"

"Don't you use that tone with me! Got to your room!"

Stan heads up the stairs. [Under breath] "Stupid white trash bitch telling me what to do"

"What am I!" yelled Sharon who apparently heard him  
"Dam!" Stan slams his door behind him. Randy sees this and walks towards Sharon who is sitting on the couch. "I don't know if your ready to talk about this but don't you think your being a little hard on him lately?"

"Are you questioning my methods as a parent?" asked Sharon.

"Mostly, yes."

"How dare you! Always the one who's perfect and right all the time! I can't even punish my own son without you attacking me!"

[From Stan's room] "..O really? Well do you know what's it's like to be a bay probably entering puberty? No so I would shut the hell up!" "WHAT?" "f*ck them." Said Stan. He turned on the TV to drown out the noise.

"North Korea is now considered a world threat, just like Aids and MySpace" says a TV anchor. Stan flips through the channels Eventually turning off the TV and going to sleep.

----------------------

News had spread around town that Kyle was queer. Though when questioned his parents denied it, they knew they may have a homosexual on their hands which to them is a problem. Kyle waited at the bus stop as usual but noticed nobody was there. He looked at his watch it was 9:00am the bus hadn't even arrived.

"Dammit what the hell is going on?" he asked himself, just then a tarp was put over his head and he was dragged behind the bushes where someone beat him.

He woke up inside a giant Dog Kennel he tried getting up but couldn't his legs were sore and he had a black eye.

"Dude, where the f*ck am I?" he asked as he looked around, he saw used carpet, chairs, and a curtain in the front of the small wooden box that the kennel was in. Then the curtain moved slightly and Ike came from behind it and walked towards the kennel holding a key ring.

"Look who's boss now?" he said shaking the keys right in front of Kyle.

"Ok Ike do you mind telling me what the hell is going on here?" demanded Kyle.

"It's very simple Kyle." Said a familiar voice. It was Cartman and he too came from behind the curtain.

"You had sex with my brother?"

"No stupid Jew" continued Cartman. "There's a huge event happini'n today, tomorrow I should say. And it's be a problem because you'd be a Jew rat and rat out on everyone involved." He gave Ike the Tazer sitting on top of the metal Kennel. "See this?" said Cartman. "You're brother is a key part of our system."

"What system?" asked Kyle very angry and confused about what was happening.

"To keep you in line bitch!" said Ike as he tazerd Kyle in the arm.

"Ow!" cried Kyle.

"Very Nice Ike, Very Nice. Now I must get back to some important business. And whatever you do Ike, keep the bitch in line."

"Amen Brutha" said Ike as he turned back to look at his brother. "Whatsup biotch wanna mess wit da Jew of da weside?"

"Ike you better hope I don't get out of here cause if I do I'll assure you die first!"

"O'RLY?" said Ike. "Well say hello to my little friend muchos!" he pulled out a handgun loaded with paintballs. He shot Kyle in the left eye with it.

"Aw f*ck man!" said Kyle as he held his left eye. He also noticed blood on the kennel, he then looked at his arm and noticed it was severely bleeding. "I-Ike, could you at least get me a bandage?"

"Aw hell no bitch." Said Ike as he retreated to a small chair. He then started reading 'Exporting America: Why Corporate Greed Is Shipping American Jobs Overseas – By Lou Dobbs' Kyle sat and watched him. Still confused and in pain.

~The Meeting~

It was lunchtime yet again at South Park Elementary. Nearly everybody was gathered around a table where Cartman Stan and others sat.

"Where's Kyle?" asked Bebe.

"He's….out sick" said Cartman.

"So when do we leave?" asked Butters.

"Tonight right after 5:30. Everyone need to be present or else they're screwed."

"What the hell's going on here?" asked Chef who had overheard some of their talk.

"Oh nothing." Said Stan. "We're just planning a script for this upcoming school play." Chef walked off.

Stan sat next to a window where he noticed something strange. A dark goo could be seen oozing atop a mountain from over the horizon. He started turning pale.

"C-c-cartman?"

"Yes St-stan?"

"Look." He pointed to the goo.

"Aw it's probably a bunch of gae cowboys eating pudding Anyway as I was saying…." Stan then saw what appeared to be UFOs.

"Oh my god!" he cried as he ran out of the cafeteria..

"Right…anyway drop 5:30, we meet right after school!"

~After School~

Stan was walking along the sidewalk on his way towards the nerest observation center to try and see the goo. By now it had already covered the mountan. It then out of nowhere started raining. He noticed a huge crow of people and rushed over to see what was happening. In the middle of the crowd, a small circular crack could be seen, whith a black steam venting out of it.

"What the hell?" said one bystander.

"Must be a f*cked up water pipe" said another person.

Then, the area within the perimeter of the crack imploded and black goo bursted out creating UFOs that started shooting various houses. Yellow eyes also could be seen behinmd the thick smoke. Without a second thought Stan ran to Wendy's house, not only did he have to get to Cartman's meeting, he also had to save Wendy for "the goo" of death.

-------------------

Wendy sat on her bed doing some homework. She then saw a small pebble hit her window. She ignored it only to see another one. She opened the window and saw Stan.

"What the hell do you want?" asked Wnedy.

"We don't have much time hurry!"

"Why?"

"Because you will die if you don't!"

Wendy grabbed her sleeping bag (accidentally) along with her backpack and used a bed sheet to drop out of the window onto the ground. Stan the grabbed her and slung Wendy on his shoulders and ran like hell towards Cartman's house

Meanwhile in the vessel Everyone sae the goo and destruction. Cartman was standing behind Butters barking orders.

"Will you hurry the f*ck up! Whip the dam cows in the ass if you have to just hurry up!"

"Uh-they ain't moving Eric" said Butters who kept trying to whip the cows and everyone watched in horror as the goo (and a person) cam closer to the train..

"What the f*ck are you doing? Put me down!" demanded Wendy. Just then, a giant laser hit only inches from Wendy's feet the goo was not too far behind. Now his run turned to a erratic sprint as the goo followed and destroyed everything it touched. As soon as he turned the corner to Cartman's yard the vehicle was still not moving. Without wasting time, Stan threw Wendy through the back curtain of the "train" and leapt in behind. Butters finnaly got the cows to move just as the goo was about to strike the wheels. The trains started moving as the cows aimlessly ran over people and things.

"Well bitch if you haven't noticed we are moving, secondly, Aliens are f*cking up South Park" said Cartman as he continued his way towards the back of the box where the kenel was. He then posistioned the backside of his ass and sh*t on Kyle who screamed in disgust.  
Everyone laughs except Kyle who lets out a loud grunt of frustration. The train suddenly stops jerking everyone forward. Kyle's crate tips upside down.

"Ah Dammit." said Cartman as he pulled back the curtain.

"BUTTERS!" he screamed. "What in the f*cking hell are you doing? Get your lazy ass back to work!"

"It isn't me." Said Butters pointing to the two cows directly in front of him. "Look!" All of the cows are constipated due to eating nothing but fertilized grass from Cartman's backyard.

"Well that's just f*cking great!" said Cartman. "Go clean it out!"

"How?" asked Butters.  
Cartman handed him a windshield scraper (to scrape car frost with) He looked at it and then looked back at Cartman.

"Uh Cartman, there's sharp pointy—"

"Did I say that you could debate stupid sh*t like this? No! Now get your ass out there and start f*cking cleaning the cow asses nyah!" Buttes jumped out of the train and paused for a moment.

"I don't see anything wrong." Said Butters as he observed one of the cow's rear ends. Just then the cow took a nice large dump on Butter's face making Cartman laugh.

"Aw hamburgers. It's all gooesy and mushy" said Butters as he began scraping the cow asscracks one at a time, all cows ended up sh*tting on him, kicking him and pissing on him.

Cartman was getting impatient. "Sometime before I die Butters." Butters gave him a disgusted look.  
"Hey mister! You're not the one using a f*cking bitch ass frost scraping thing to clean a constipated cows' ass! So shut the hell up!"  
Cartman was set aback by Butter's reply. "Just take your time then.." he said as he re-entered the train. There was a sudden bang on the back of the train. Everyone turned an looked towards the sound. (While in the background Butters is being trampled on by the cows.) Then, the back broke open. Stan let out a female-esqe scream.

"Dude what the f*ck was that?" asked Cartman shooting a glance at him.

Jyst then the trains started rolling foreard. Everyone then turned facing the ripped cutain as they watched the train go rolling sown the incline. Cartman climbed to observe the back and realized it was a gaint rock that pushed the train forward. Cartman then slid to the cowpit.

-------------------

"You ok Butters?" He asked obviously seeing he was soaked in cow sh*t. Butters turns to face him. His expression is hidden beneeth the sh*t.

"I'll take that as a yes..." said Cartman as he struggled back to his special chair located behind the cowpit. Suddenly, Ike began to wail. Cartman and the others jerked their heads sideways to see Kyle had escaped.

"AW f*ck!!" Creid Cartman as he grabbed a tazer and headed for Kyle.

Kyle noticed this and posistioned Ike as if he were a footbal. "Ready Ike?" he said, "Kick the baby!"

"Dom't kick the mother f*cking baby!" said Ike as Kyle kicked him anyway.

Cartman shot his tazer and was then knocked down by Ike. Cartman then slid down the aisle abd knocked Butters off of his seat and sent Butters down the mountain. Cartman then clung firmly to the edge of the train as everyone else began to be flung to the front of the train. Meanwhile, Clyde and Token situated Kyle in the kennel, this time, encasing it in wood with a small golfball sized airhole. Stan also lost his grip of a seat and was sent downward. Wendy grabbed his hand anf tried to pull him up, this tesulted in her falling doenward. Stan lunged and grabbed a seat and hung on with wendy clinging to his feet. Without wasting time he moved her to an empty seat just before he lost his grip and fell on the hard snowy ground below. The train flew on far off into the distance.

--------------

His eyes opened. Slowly, getting adjusted to the bright clear sky. Unfourtunatley however, he couldn't move. he tried to push and get up but vouldn't.  
Stan then turned facing up. Cartman's ass was in his face. Cartman was still unconcious. So, Stan had to roll Cartman off of him before standing up. Butters was laying there looking at the mountains he noticed Stan and turned to face him.

"Aw thank goodness your ok Stan! I was awful worried about you and Eric, thought you was gone."

"Yeah i guess it's nice to see you too..." said Stan brushing the snow off of him. "But...Cartman's stil not awake. I think he's dead."

"So?"

"SO how the hell are we supposed to know where to go?!"

"Oh...sh*t." They both looked down at Cartman still uncouncious (or asleep). Butters grabbed a stick and hit Cartman in the face Cartman then jumped, knocking Butters over.

"You dumb f*ck!!" he screamed grabbing the stick from Butters and waving it at him. "What the hell'd you think i was? DEAD?"

"Yes"

"Well NEXT TIME assh*le!! WHY DON'T YOU TAP ME instead of f*cking smacking me with it!!"

"Why...gosh, i'm sorry Eric. Me and Stan, why we thought you was dead! We was awful scared we were..uh..thank god your alive!"

"Thank GOD i'm in too much pain or else YOU'd be the one dead!"

"That's enough you two." said Stan, "We need to find where the hell that train went."

"Pah! Screw them!" Cartman hissed. "We don't don't need those dumb broads anyway." Stan glaired at him.

"....FINE! You guys go ahead and look for the train, they're all probably dead anyway. Screw you guys! I'mm going that way." He started into the forest. Stan wandered towards the mountains, Butters remained put.

"Comming Butters?" Stan asked.

Butters looked back and forth between both Stan and Cartman "Wel..."

"Are you comming or not?!" demanded Stan. Butters ran to catch up with Cartman. Stan stood there for a moment. He then continued towards the mountain.

"So Butters, you decided to follow the smart one?" said Eric.  
"No actually, i'm just afraid of heights." They continued their walk occasionaly ripping through branches and climbing over dead trees. They then stumbled upon deposits from the train. A Nintendo DS, a cell phone, and an AK47. Cartman grabbed the phone and turned it on. It was Stan's. He quickly surfed down the contacts list until he came to his home phone. He tried calling it but to no luck. He put it in his pocket and continued onward. Butters however decided to pick up the AK47. He then hurried behind Cartman.  
Cartman noticed Butters with the gun. "Hey..uh Butters?"

"Yes."  
"That gun you have there....it's an AK47."  
"Uh...ok?"  
"Well, I can't really trust that you would use it responsibly...so lemmie have it."  
"No."  
"Excuse me?"  
"You heard me Eric no!" Butters replied as he pulled the gun behind him to keep Eric from snatching it.  
Cartman was very displeased. "Butters? Are we going to be a little bitch, or are you going to give me the gun?"  
"I already said no."  
"O'RLY?" Said Eric as he tackled Butters.  
For awhile the struggled and fought for the gun, Butters accidently pulls the trigger and sends off a round barley missing Cartman's head. Some mountain lions could be heard roaring in response to the gunfire. The two becam pale and froze. They both turned to look at some nearby bushes. They rustled.  
"M-m-m-m-MOUTAIN LIONS!" cried Butters as he quickly backed behind some trees.  
"Aw f*ck." Replied Cartman as the lions lunged on him...  
"Stupid sh*t eating mountain lions"  
"G-go away you stupid sh*t eating mountain lions!" cried Butters and Cartman was tackled. Butters then out of nowhere jumped out from behind the tree and whent trigger-happy on the mountain lions. Butters then ran out of ammo, the lions were dead.  
"Oh..heh..guess i'm out of ammo."  
Cartman slowly got up and stared at Butters looking completeley suprised. "Dude!...that was f*cking awsome!"  
"Well gee Eric, i couldn't see ya die and suck, why...i'd be lost."

--------

Stan had already climbed yet another bug hill. He laid there for a minuate to catch his breath and then looked down the hill. He saw Kyle's kennel. He also saw Ike who was sitting atop the box shivering. Stan quickly slid down the hill and ran to the kennel.  
"Holy sh*t Ike! are you guys ok?..wait..f*ck Kyle, are YOU ok?"  
"I got a booboo." said Ike pointing to a large bump on his head.  
The kennel then started rattling and the nails holding the wood in place started to unscrew.  
"sh*t!" creid Stan, he wuickly built a small snow wall and put Ike behind it. Kyle burst out of the kennel  
"Ablahgyiurassholefuckingkillyou!" he screamed.  
"What?"  
"I SAID Stan, i'm going to f*cking kill you!" He grabbed Stan by the neck and started kicking him. While this was happening, Ike could hear the roaring of mountain lions near by. He cringed in stopped and saw then emerging fro, behind a hill. He dropped Stan and stepped back, tripping over Ike.  
"You little BITCH!" Screamed Kyle. "Remeber when i said when i got out YOU would be the first to die?" He grabbed Ike and dangled him in front of the mountain lions. "Here you go? So fresh bastard for breakfast!" The mountain lions however took a look at Kyle and tackled him letting Ike fly and fall on top of Stan. The lions the grabbed Kyle with their teeth and dragged him behind a hill  
The lions positioned Kyle in the middle of a circle of lions. Kyle shot glances around. "Y-you don't want me? You want the infant? H-he has more sugar s-so it tastes better! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"  
Obviously, lions don't understand English. And even if they did, they wouldn't give a sh*t. They lunged on him and mutilated him. tearing off his clothes and shoes. They were just about to rrip his head off when a gunshot scared them off. It actually wasn't the AK47 off in the distance, it was a handgun. Ike and Stan emerged from behind the hill.  
"You ok?" asked Ike.  
"Yes.." replied Kyle weakly.  
"Ok, then hurry the hell up already! We need to find Eric and Butters." said Stan as he and Ike walked off.  
"Uh...guys?" asked Kyle. "A little help here?" The lions then returned and circled around him. The two noticed this and hurried back behind the hill. Ike tried to fire another shot but was out of ammo.  
"Bye Kyle." said Ike.  
"What are you talking about?" Asked Kyle not noticing the lions until he turned around. He tried to escape, but he was tangled in a large stick, too heavy to move. He stared at the lions. They attacked him....finishing him off. The lions retreated. Kyle lay there not moving an inch his face was completeley removed.  
"Well that just sucks doesn't it?" said Stan as they continued towards some forest area.  
"No." replied Ike.

"Yeah, your right"

"Well that just sucks doesn't it? / Life without Kyle / Arrested." (Section 4)

Butters and Eric were still wandering through the forest. Cartman then spotted an opening into a large hilly field of snow. They quickly ran for it and fell on the ground.

"Cartman...what the hell are you doing?" asked Stan.

"Oh my god!!" cried Butters, "You guys are alive!"

"You GUYS?" asked Eric as he unburied his head. He saw Ike.

"Wait a second," said Cartman, "If IKE is here, then KYLE is too?"

Stan paused for a second then replied, "Well, actually, no."

"No?!" said Cartman, "His god damn kennel is right there!"

"Uh....he's dead."

"REALLY?!"

"Umm...yea."

"Oh my god......That is AWSOME!"

"Yes....It is."

Butters was looking up at the trees that seemed like giants, their needles coated with snow, their majestic size overwhelmed him. Then, as he was tilting his head back, he noticed a small trace of smoke from behind a hill.

"Hey..you guys!"

"What Butters?" asked Cartman,

"Lookie! Smoke!"

They all turned and looked at the smoke as it covered the sky above them.

"Train!" said Ike possibly hinting to the train that they thought had perished in the crash. Without wasting any time, they all ran towards the smoke.

As they got closer, the smoke started getting thicker and more concentrated. By the time Stan and them came to the top of the hill, they notice it is a campfire, and behind it, was the remains of the "train".

"Holy f*ck.." said Cartman as he approched the "train". "I think they're all dead."

Stan made his way to the top of the wrecadge he then enters through a hole. It is dark and eerily silent. Cartman eventually enters the hole aswell.

"Damn where the hell is everybofy?" asks Cartman, just then a small flicking sound can be heard. The short lived light created by the flame on the match exposes everyone sleeping. Wendy and Clyde are awaken by the light. They stare at Stan and Cartman as if they were zombies.

"Wendy? It's me..i'm alive." said Stan

"Hey dumb bitch! what the hell is wrong with you!" demanded Cartman. Then, a bloody hand rests on Cartmans right shoulder, he looks at it. "Oh my god..no..NO." He turns around to see Kyle. His face excesevley bloody with a deformed eye. Cartman returns to looking at Wendy and Clyde as he slowly pulled a handgun out of his pocket.

"Kyle.." he said very calmly holding back his rage, "When i count to five, i want you to get your god damn homosexial jew hand off of me or i'll f*cking shoot it off..ready? 1,2,3,4....4 and a half...5!" He quickly turns around to shoot but Kyle delivers a hard blow to his face, knocking him to the ground. Kyle then turns his attention to Stan who tries to put him in a head lock. Kyle bites his arm and kicks him in the stomach, knocking him out aswell.

Kyle, sure that he was free to run off into the mountains, climbed out the hole amd tried to run to the foot of the hill, just then, he notices Butters eating grapes in some forest are nearby. He runs over, puts his hand over Butter's mouth and tosses him through the hole. He then restarted his journey. He then sees Ike. He pulled out the handgun he stole from Cartman and aimed it at him.

"Mercy?" asked Ike.

"Aw hell no Ike! No mercy for you - you stupid little dildo!" He walks closer towards Ike still holding the gun ready to fire.

"Why?" asked Ike now looking scared,

"Well Ike, it's pretty obvious, you stuffed me in a kenel and f*cked up my left eye, you let me be mutilated by lions, and NOW you ask ME for mercy?! You're pretty damn stupid. Too stupid to waste on this world." He then fires, barley missing Ike by the head. Ike starts wailing.

"Shut the f*ck up you usless peice of sh*t!" screams kyle as he gets even closer to Ike. Just as he is about to fire again however, red and blue lights flashed through the trees behind him. It was the Park County police. Along with them were the parents of almost everyone who had been on the "train" Sheila approached Kyle.

"What the HELL do you think you're doing? GET IN THE CAR!" She grabs him by the neck and tosses him in the back of a squad car. The rest of the children are retreived out of the wreck and arrested.

"Well nice job ya dumb jew. We're in jail now. THANKS.

" Cartman lay on the hard top concrete beds that were conected to the walls. Kyle ignored him.

"You know Kyle," Cartman continued,

"You are so lucky i don't have a gun right now or else I woiuld seriously f*cking kill you right now." Kyle continued to ignore him, he then turned and faced Cartman.

"Dude.." he said. "Shut the f*ck up."

Stan and Butters were housed in the cell next to had it a little better with maytresses and a small TV.

"Hey Stan?" asks Butters.

"Yea what?"

"When are we getting out?"

"Today."

"Really??"

"Yea. I think Cartman and Kyle are staying a little longer but we're leaving...now."

Two guards approached their gate and opened it. Stan and Butters were escorted out.

"You know Kyle..." said Cartman, "If it wasn't for you and your stupid arguments with your little brother, we could've escaped capture! But NO, You just had to beat me up and try to kill your brother huh?"

"Just shut the HELL UP FATASS!" Cried Kyle.

"Make me bitch!" replied Cartman.

Kyle tackled Cartman and started beating him. Cartman tried to fight back but Kyle just kept throwing wild hits and kicks. They started tumbling around the cell Cartman's head then knocked over the sink revealing a hole large enough fro him to fit. He delivered a knock out blow to Kyle and crawled into the hold placing the sink back in front of the as to cover the hole.

-------

Outside the prison, Stan and Butters went to the left side behind Cartman's cell, they noticed a lump of fresh concrete. They grabbed some hammers and broke it open, revealing a hole. Cartman squeezed out.

"Oh thank god i'n out of that stupid ass prison!" said Cartman as they headed to his house.

"What do we do now?" asked Butters.

"Apparently, we won't be able to leave South Park."

"ook?"

"And i suppose our parents will...lock us inside of our homes?"

"What are you getting at?" asked Stan.

"Well...take the town."

"WHAT?"

"Yes, a massive offensive the likes of which this town has never seen. We have the snow, the gunpower, all we need is the people to execute the whole thing/"

"Dude, i think i'm going home."

"Fine Stan, GO HOME. Go back to your nagging parents and abusive / violent sister..go back Stan."

"....i hate you so much.....so where do we set up?"

"I was thinking over near the sacred burial ground y'know the one near that pet store?"

"This sounds REALLY stupid."

"I know, but if we're succesful, nobody will be able to tell us what to do!"

"Why don't we live in underground snow caves?"

"Now THAT Stan, is stupid."

Section 4.2 "The Takeover"

Kyle lay in the prison bloody and bruised. He lay there and asked himself questions he knew may never be answered: Why is everyone being an ass towards me? And what the f*ck am i doing in this prison? Just then, his thoughts were interupted by the sink being knocked over revealing a hole. Cartman popped his head in.

"Hiya Kyle!"

"Dude what the f*ck ARE YOU DOING?"

"Getting you out you stupid jew! Now c'mon!"

Kyle didn't understand, first they kicked him, shot him, let him be mauled by lions, and now they were getting him out of jail? It didn't matter, Kyle followed him down an underground tunnel and out into the snowy plains surrounding South Park.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you stupid queer, we need you!"

"For what?"

"C'mon! Well show you."

Cartman led him to a giant igloo located atop a hill overlooking the town. It had numerous tunnels, each leading to individual rooms. One tunnel however, was at a dead end. Cartman pulled a electro-collar from his pocket and headed towards Jyle.

"What the hell is that for?"

"Pft! Slave Kyle, this is so you don't f*ck us up again!" he forced the colloar on kyle. It had a lock, and Cartman had the key. He also pulled out what appeared to be a videogame joystick. It had an emblem of a skull with crossbones on it.

"Get thus peice of sh*t off of me!" demanded Kyle.

Cartman had other plans. He pressed the big red button on the joystick. It sent 100 mA throuoght his body causing him to become numb and light headed.

"Mwah ha ha ha ha!" laughed Cartman. "I don't think a CERTIAN jew is going to be back talking Lord Cartman now is HE?  
Kyle tried to get up but Cartman pressed the button again, this time visibly burning his neck.

"So...whatdya think you guys?"

"Nice. Now that famn jew will shut up." said Stan.

"I like it!" said Ike.

"Do we all get little joysticks?" asked Clyde.

"Yes indeed you do." said Cartman, "Anytime he badmouths you or trys to hurt you, just press the button. Oh and watch this: Cartman pressed up, left, and right. Evry time an electric shock frced his body to slide in that direction. Kyle began to get teary-eyed.

"AW...Does wittle kyle have a boo boo?" Everyone laughed.

Kyle sat there and looked at everyone standing and watching him. Stan came fro behind and handcuffed him with little shock devices.

"There." he said, "Not only will you move whenever we say, but you'll push, touch, pull whatever we want meaning, we sit back while you start working!"

"Wh-why a-are y-you guys doing this to me?" Kyle said weakly.

"Because," saidCartman "You f*cked up OUR lives, we'tr f*cking up yours! Now get to work!"

----------------

Kyle can be seen laboring outside of the igloo, making statues of snowmen with sticks. Cartman was laid back on a lawn chair barking orders.

"You think you could go any slower ya f*cking animal!"

Kyle tried his best not to lash out as not to be electrecuted and killed. He was ordered then to dig a trench and fill it with water from Stark's Pond. Finnaly, He was forced to rub and clean Cartman's feet. They placed him in the center of the main igloo tied to a chain.  
Stan came out later in the night to put out a campfire. "Stan.." Kyle said.

"What?"

"Can you come here? I need to tell y-you something."

"What is it bitch."

"I've been hiding this for too long, and now i think it's time i tell you the truth......you turn me on. Evrytim i see you i have to go to the bathroom REALLY bad..a-and when you talk to me, i just fell you lips touching mine in front of a-"

Stan electrecuted him to the point where he started bleeding, he then proceeded to beating him with a log.

"Shut the f*ck up you perverrted son of a bitch!" He then returned to his tunnel.

It was daybreak when kyle awoke. He noticed his face and hand were wet. He must've cried in his sleep. Nobody else was up yet so he decided to take a walk. Along his way he saw South Park. He saw his home, the school, the city hall, and Starks Pond. He sat on the edge of the cliff and sighed. How he longed for Stan to have feeling for him, to have a relationship with Cartman, and how to just be home. He looked at his collar, it was black with red colored spikes studded all around the outer rim. The inside also had spikes that poked in his skin from time to time. He still couldn't see out of his left eye. (It was still healing from the lion attack.) He had a large scar on his arm and a hole in his jacket. His neck was blood red and blood soaked. His other arm had a large bump from the tazer shot. His legs and back ached terribly.  
Just then he heard voices faintly in the distance:

"Kyle you dumb assh*le GET BACK HERE!"

It was Cartman. He remaineds seated until he was shocked. This time, the vibration caused the inner spikes to cut a nice hole in his neck. Blood gushed out. He hurried towards Cartman.

"Took you long enough. Go in the igloo and get a bandage you look like a f*cking corpse."

The igloo was massive after they (a.k.s Kyle) had completed it. It was a large as Qwest feild and had a tower taller then the Space Needle, all built with pure snow. He had a large white pillow cover around his neck for a bandage and was hungry. He gadn't eaten for at least a month. The only way he was still alive was from the bits of snow he secretly ate.

Kyle was back and tied to his chain as usual. He could faintly hear Cartman speaking in the room next to him so he placed his ear next to the snow.

"..Yes, we already have the weapons here...YES Clyde they are large bombs but YOU don't get to use them!...GOD DAMMIT Butters! NO! You can't pet the Kyle! He's a bad Kyle."

Shortly after he saw everyone exit through the igloo door each glaring at him as if he were a large peice of poo. Stan and Cartman exited last. Cartman pulled oput his Joystick.

"Hey Stan...could you carry the Kyle to i's new home?"

"Why?"

"Well we can't leave him here like this! We'll have food and entertanment here soon."

"FINE!..."

Stan did as he was told. After not eating much Kyle had lost a substantial amount of weight which was a good thing for Stan. They continued outside. Kyle noticed some new things: Some large cannons were alighned on the efge of the cliffm the snowmen had ozzies instead of sticks, and a odd looking flag was on top of the Igloo's tower. He was then abrubtly dropped onto a rock. It hurt.

"Oh god, i'm sorry Kyle..you're just a little slippery." said Stan as he grabbed him again.

"Where are you taking me?" asked Kyle.

"....Home." Stan replied, obviously lying to him.

He then saw a large cage situated next to a slope that led down to South Park. Stan whipped out a key and used his unoccupied arm to open it. He then gently placed Kyle in it, locked the door and left.  
Kyle took in his new "home". It had food...in a pile. A dog bone, a litter box, ans some old frozen water. Kyle hadn't gone to the bathroom for weeks, so he took it out on the litterbox. A small squirell was scurrying up a tree he barked like a dog and tried to climb the cage to get it. He fell off. He was scared. Not only had they pysically abused him, and tortured him in the most inhumaine ways possible, now HE was becomming an animal, just what they wanted him to be,

------------------------

The parents were gathered at the cemetary. Numerous new coffins were set before them. They thought their children were dead. Cartman and the others walked into Stan's funeral.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Stann.

Everyone turned to see the children standing there. They all ran and hugged their children. Sheila however, didn't see her eldest child. Ike was happily jumping up and down.

"Where's my Kyle?" she asked.

Cartman and the others froze for a minuate. They had to think of something and quick.

"He died" said Ike.

"Yeah, he was torn up by some mountain lions" continued Stan.

Sheila became very angry and grabbed Stan by the throat. "HOW THE HELL WAS HE KILLED BY MOUNTAIN LIONS IF HE WAS IN JAIL!!!"

"....sh*t." said Cartman.

"Ok!, Ok he's alive too." replied Stan.

"WHERE!?"

"Uh....We don't know?"

"WAIT! You all escaped out of PRISON!!"

"Mother f*ck...." Stan released himself from he grip and ran off with the others back to the hill.

"f*ck waiting, fire the cannons NOW!" Cried Cartman. Ike lit the cannons that were loaded with 2ton grenades and launched theam at every building in South Park.

Everyone gathered on the main road pf South Park. They had put their parents inside the cage next to Kyle and were now the rulers of South Park.

"That was way too f*cking easy." said Cartman as he sat in the mayor's chair and put his fet up on the desk. Stan had brought Kyle into the room. He set him fown in a small cage simmialar to a pig pen. It sat in the corner of the room. Butters went and pet Kyle. Kyle enjoyed it.

"Pet the Kyle." said Butters.

"NO GOD DAMMIT NO PET THE KYLE!" Said Cartman slapping Butter's hand. "No pet eh Kyle. he's a BAD Kyle."

Kyle let out a while and retreated to the far coner and curled up in a ball.

"Ok, what the hell is THIS?" Demanded Cartman, "Why is it curled up like that?"

"Dude, he's sleeping." said Stan.

"Pet the Kyle?" asked Butters.

"No." said Cartman.

--------------------------------

The cold crisp wind roamed the clear blue sky. Stan sat in the mass of powder and gently slid his hand on top of it. It was rough, slightly prickly. He then directed his attention to a small dome made of cow fecal matter. This was Kyle's little "living space" He looked at it and (thorugh a gaping hole on one side) observed his "freind" eating cooked rat. He felt awful, especially when he noticed the massive sxar on Kyle's head.

Kyle noticed Stan staring at him. "Oh..uh..hey Stan, what's up?"

"Nothing?" Stan replied, "What you gou got there?"

"Rat on a stick" Kyle replied, "Want some"

Stan looked at his freind as he slowly approached him with a nice dead maggot infested rat peirced with a stick."No, i already..ate.."

"What the hell are you doing?!" roared Cartman as he rushed outside. "Are you trying to KILL Stan?"

"No!" stammered Kyle, "p-please don't punish me! I-i promise...i'll be good! Nyahhh!!" Kyle scurried back into his fecal retreat.

"Sorry 'bout that Stan, that crazy hebrew just doesn't know when to quit trying to feed people dead rats. Come, i've been meaning to speak with you."

-----

Stan was led into the back of the destroyed igloo and presented to a long line of cheap tents made of wolf skins.

"What the f**k are you up to now?" asked Stan.

"Well, being out here inside an igloo was damn cold! So, KyleSlave worked long and hard last night to pitch all these wonderful tents. See that log cabin? That's mine" showing him a two story log cabin. "Your tent is over there theone with the giant flag on top of it why don't you go in there and meet your assigned paretner? I have to take care of a disruptive Kyleslave"

The line of tents streched a considerable distance. Before too long, Stan was extremely worn out. Panting, and shivering, he entered his flimsy tent. Inside were four things: a stove, a table, a bink bed, and Butters.

"Where's Wndy?" He asked. Somewhat suprised his "girl" was not assigned with him.

"Well gosh Stan, I dunno." replied Butters, "Eric said he was gonna seperate the genders to keep order or something like that -- Is it me or is it reaally cold out? -- I think it is why just last night I was slee...."

Butter's voice was drowned out by the various passive-aggresive thoughts rummiging through Stan's mind, _Why would Cartman do that? Why Do I Care? -God Butters, please shut up.._ slowly, the boy's yammering came back into focus:

"...and I was like: 'well Eric, people are gonna be awful sore once they find out what you did an--"

"That's great Butters." said Stan as he began to make his way out,

"Where you goi'n?" asked Butters. "I was thinki'n maybe we could play Catchphrase or something."

"I'll be back" said Stan.

He opened the small Velcro-attached door only to see Kyle being dragged face first in the snow, feet tightly tethered by a massive chain connected to a small go-kart which Cattman was driving. He seemed to be enjoying it.

"Uh...Cartman what are you doing?" Cartman stopped and stared at Stan and replied in a matter-of-fact way,

"Taking KyleSlave to his new penn. You wanna pet the Kyle?"

"I guess--"

"f*ck STAN! DON'T PET THE KYLE!" And with that, Cartman zoomed through, blasting well over a foot of snow in Stan's face. After wiping it, Craig appeared.

"Uh...hey Craig"

"Hey Stan, 'sup?"

"Nothin' what's with you?"

"Aw, me and a couple a guys are going to go hunting. We were curious if you wanted to go with us."

"And hunt what?"

"The Most dangerous Game. Cartman says it's a real smart and ellusive little bitch. Says he'll build a communal log cabin for the first group to catch it."

"There's others?"

"Yeah, Token, Tweek, Bebe, and Kenny are going against us.. they're f*cking savs' dude, but I think we can get 'em."

"I'll see..."

"Hey see if Butters wants to go too!"

"Uh...okay"

Butters did. and they all met up in Craig's tent to stratedgize and plan. Blissfuly unaware of what this "Dangerous Game" was. Irregardless, the alure of having a nice, warm cabin completely clouded any speculation or second thoughts, even for Stan.


End file.
